You are OK.
Music festivals for me have always been my escape. They are what have kept me going for so long.
Feeling the energy surrounding you allows you to release the negativity and feel the energy surrounding you, allowing you to uplifted.
In 2019 I lost my father to cancer, and all at once I felt empty. I had nowhere to turn that could allow me to feel... anything.
I was stuck in a sadness that could not be shaken. I went out drinking, I went out partying, tried to live as if all was ok but it was all a lie.
Fast forward to 2020, still avoiding, still denying but I had tickets to a few festivals and having thought this was my chance to feel again.
The Mcdowell Music Festival or M3F took place the very first week of March, the week before Covid-19 shut down our lives. This ended up being the last festival of 2020 I was able to attend.
M3F was a festival that sparked my desire to live again. This festival helped me to live again, I had a specific moment that I will hold dear forever.
I ended up next to a group of men front and center during Rufus Du Sol, they were living their best lives and I finally started to feel like I was living mine.
As what happens with many festival crowds when that music moves you, you merge with those surrounding you and together you dance.
All at once, you let go of all of the tension and in those moments there is nothing wrong and everything is cosmically right.
As we were dancing and laughing, there was suddenly a frightened panic, one of the guys collapsed.
Fell straight to the ground, immediately I grabbed my fan and water and attempted to get him up.
We gave him space, more water and let him sit for a while, all of us huddling around him to make sure he was not trampled by other dancers.
He informed me that he was battling cancer, that he and his friends are out and traveling and living their best lives because treatment is no longer an option. My heart sank deep down and all I could do was give him a warm hug and to empathize with him.
Together we were crying and I told him about my father and we connected so deeply. We spoke about his hopes and dreams for his family and I told him the promises I made to my father.
He had such a good heart and left me with so much hope. I felt as if I were meant to meet this man, this experience gave me a chance to open my heart to healing.
In ways that the real world cannot be, festivals give us a chance to connect with others on a consciously higher level.
Just as life would have it, as soon as happiness was found again, it was whisked away in seconds.
Within a week the whole world shut down in hope to keep the Covid-19 virus contained, and within that week people lost everything, jobs, livelihood, homes, family members, cars, social events that keep us sane, friends, school.
To say that grief and loss is overwhelming is an understatement. It takes over your life like nothing else does.
It takes so much of you, that you have nothing left to give. This grief was felt around the world.
Grief is loss and loss is grief, no matter what terms you use, it is all felt in the same unbearable way. You feel it everyday, carrying it with you as you try to fake a smile and to continue on.
Without skipping a beat so many companies curated a way for us to all be together in a virtual manner.
Virtual music festivals were created, most that were donations only to participate, with proceedings going out to those most affected with Covid.
Witnessing how all people came together, to make a change in the world we were living in is an extraordinary step forward.
In 2020 we had to face our demons, open our eyes and find paths that lead to world development.
2020 had tragedies paired with dismay, but we must look to celebrate what we have learned from this time we have been given, and value our rise above the madness and find some sort of peace.
With the start of 2021, I feel we can continue on stronger and more just. Vaccines are underway, restrictions are being lightened and soon we can escape together again.
Because we know now how important it is to be human, to know pain and to endure through it. I believe in us.
We are living breathing beings, we will continue to strive for better and continue
to be better.
If these past few years have taught me anything, it's that with every great tragedy there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just must first believe, not only in yourself but in others, in the unknown.
We will be ok, you will be ok.
About the author: MiThalia
My name is MiThalia, I love raving and I love woman who empower woman. I believe we are a part of an amazing culture that allows us to express ourselves and spread the love to others. Hope to see y’all soon, you can always find me in the pit 💙💙